Cranky

By Marcy McGuffie

Thursday, February 15, 2007

After an extended absence from Lawrence.com, a brief excursion to Florida (to visit the in-laws) rejuvenated me enough to return to blogdom. Frankly, I was so worked up by the fact Floridians are weather weak and was full on prepared to rant. Seriously, a mid-sixties temperature range and the staff at a Mexican restaurant thought us insane because we chose to dine outdoors in the “freezing” temperatures. Fo’ seriously…they called us “champs.” I called them “pussies,” despite my feminist leanings normally discouraging me from using such disparaging terminology.

As I began to type up this particular rant, my laptop suddenly went “phoooof” and the power was gone (a sign?). Now, I am without computer. Although the hubby does have a brand new Dell, which has been sitting in a box for over a month now, nothing seems to happen with it. There it sits - a lonely virgin computer - aching for a gentle set of hands to break it in. Meanwhile, Momma pines away for Myspace and Yahoo email, which are so cruelly blocked by workplace web filters.

Now, I wait for the Best Buy Geek Squad’s tender hands to surgically repair my baby. It’s going to be a difficult two to four weeks, as I pray for her safe return and a reasonable repair bill. Do not mourn for her, as I have confidence she will return to her former glory.

Addressing other business; apparently, I am a bad ass. Someone’s been a bad, bad girl. Mrs. McGuffie has been breaking countless city ordinances.

1. I park in my driveway. My driveway is gravel – thus an “unimproved” surface. If it ain’t concrete or asphalt, the city does not want you parking there. This ordinance provides attractive neighborhood landscaping, and keeps mud off the street.

2. Sometimes I leave my trashcan at the curb for a day or two after waste collection. One must remove trash containers from the curb promptly after they’ve been emptied. And Spring cleaning is a definite no-no as you are not allowed to pile trash at the curb more than 24 hours before collection time.

3. I am not allowed to store any loose items on my porch. Oops, so I have one white trash thing on my front porch – a partially disassembled desk. It isn’t THAT unsightly. Hell – you can’t even keep a bicycle on your front porch or lawn.

Thank you City of Lawrence for some goofy ordinances (information courtesy of “The Flame,” Feb. 2007 edition– published by the City Manager’s office). I’ve always wanted to be a bad girl. Now, I am.

Lawrence.com blogs are collections of short, frequently updated posts by members of the Lawrence community. Blog writers, and comment posters, are solely responsible for what they say. (Please take the time to read our full policy.)

If you're interested in writing a blog on lawrence.com, send us a couple of sample entries.

Comments

lawrence.com does not necessarily agree with comments posted below - responsibility lies with the relevant user alone. Read our full policy

Posted by OtherJoel (anonymous) on February 15, 2007 at 3:43 p.m. (Suggest removal)

I would be in violation of the first two myself, however in downtown Olathe, If they are ordinances, no one enforces them.

The ban on putting trash out early makes sense, though -- particularly if you have overflow and set the bags directly on the curb. I now take it out the morning of pickup, since one night some dogs or other creatures decided to spread the bags' contents all over my front yard.

Aw crap. I just remembered today was trash day.

Posted by beatle919 (Marcy McGuffie) on February 15, 2007 at 3:59 p.m. (Suggest removal)

I haven't actually gotten in trouble...yet. No one has complained. I just didn't realize these were ordinances until I read the handy dandy flyer they sent everyone.

Yeah - I do see the furry little creature argument. We've had our fair share of raccoons ransacking through our trash. Little bastards. But, being the responsible citizens, we do clean those messes up.

Posted by Todd (anonymous) on February 16, 2007 at 9:45 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Don't forget the ordinaces against leaving your car on the street for more than 24 hrs without moving it. And clearing your sidewalks of snow and ice within 24hrs.

I lifted this from somewhere else but I like it so much...

Welcome to Lawrence, the answer is no.

Posted by altheasus (Althea Schnacke) on February 16, 2007 at 9:53 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I would love to see the clearing sidewalks thing actually enforced in the Oread neighborhood. Get some of those landlords off their asses and actually clear a sidewalk for a change. I haven't been able to walk up 14th street on the sidewalks for the past month because of it.

I suspect that you're okay with a gravel driveway, just so long as you don't park on the yard.

Posted by thetomdotdot (anonymous) on February 16, 2007 at 1 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Mocking snowbirds (and yerps) is half the charm of being Floridian. Being a pussy is the other half.

I wear my coat at my desk as we speak.

Cranky

Comments

Post a comment